Kaganville

Alex on Joel and Me

2011-12-12T22:59:00.000-05:00

"Awww, you two are like a box and the cover. Like the pot and the top. Like the nail and the dirt."

I asked why 'a nail and the dirt'?

"Because you always see nails with dirt inside because they're inseparable." :)

Jury Duty

2011-12-07T10:46:00.002-05:00

Well...they told us to report at 10am. Here I am, a quarter to 11 and slowly losing my patience. I suppose I'd be here anyway, so whatever. The accused gets the right to a speedy trial. Why not the jury??

Alexism: A Baby's Age

2011-12-05T23:05:00.000-05:00

Talking about a friend's baby's 1st birthday. "So the nine moths he was inside his mom doesn't count, right. In theory he is 12 months old but in reality he should be 21 months old."

Real Love.

2011-09-08T11:56:00.001-04:00

"I think the real love is the love you have to grow like vegetables. You have to wait." -- AL

"In A Relationship"

2011-08-25T10:59:00.000-04:00

Ok...Ok... The cat's out of the bag! :) His name is Joel. We met at the Metropolitan Museum of Art through a mutual friend who said, "Hey, you two are both single! Why don't you go on a date!" It seemed like a great idea, as I couldn't take my eyes off of him. We had our first date a few nights later and I knew I couldn't let him get away. I'm so happy!

Alexism: Bilingual

2011-07-18T10:15:00.000-04:00

Jeff: The DVD only has Spanish subtitles. Is that OK?

Alex: Yes, why wouldn't it be? I'm bilingual, you know. You! Always subestimating me!

A Little Sprite Will Get That Out...

2011-03-29T21:05:00.003-04:00

I had dinner with my friend Stuart tonight. We dined at the ever-popular Havana Central in Times Square. At the end of the meal, as a busboy was clearing the table, he dropped the silverware on Stuart and got some sauce on his Stuart's sweater. Embarrassed, the busboy said, in a thick Spanish-accent, "I will get you some Sprite," and quickly walked towards the kitchen. Stuart and I laughed about it, thinking he had meant to say "seltzer".

The busboy returned with a cup and gave it to Stuart with a new napkin so Stuart could start cleaning the stain. After a minute, the suspense was killing me and I had to know if the busboy brought seltzer or Sprite.

I raised the cup to my nose and laughed out loud. I told Stuart to stop cleaning his sweater.

Alex on Investments

2011-03-17T22:10:00.002-04:00

"Having money in the bank is like having a denture in a window display. It's not doing anything. It has to be in someone's mouth."

My Lucky Hockey Equipment

2011-03-07T22:44:00.001-05:00

This is Next Magazine's March 4th issue. On the cover, you'll see one sexy model posing in some rough n'tough hockey equipment. That equipment belongs to ME. He he. A few days before this photo shoot, a photographer friend of mine (Jeff Eason -- he's AMAZING at what he does) called me asking if I knew where he could get some hockey equipment for his shoot. I happily volunteered to help.

The shoot was at The Ritz Lounge in Hell's Kitchen. We were upstairs. The model's name was Don Hood. He was very professional. He brought his own baby oil for some shine. I helped with the styling a little bit, meaning I suggested that he wear the hockey socks as if he was getting undressed. And I arranged the ice skates in each shot. It was fun.

The best part of the entire experiences is how Jeff and Don referred to my hockey helmet as a "hat" (God, I love that). It's like when some of my "musical theatre" friends ask me when I have hockey rehearsals...

I posted the photos above on Facebook and got lots of interesting questions from my friends. Here are some answers: Did I clean the equipment for him? No, it was straight out of my locker. I think it stunk, but he had so much baby oil on him, the equipment now smells like baby oil. And I skate faster. Did I get his number? No, I didn't ask for it. I know my place in society and it isn't asking out beautiful guys like that. HAHA. What am I saying. I didn't mean that. I was professional. That's right. It was for art!

Alex on Pets

2011-01-19T15:33:00.002-05:00

"I am busy. I have to go and fish my feed."

Alex on Me Telling Him This Week's Episode of GLEE Made Me Cry...

2010-12-11T21:20:00.000-05:00

You.
You cry cutting a tomato.
You cry peeling a garlic.
You cry with everything.

Alex: My new sneakers

2010-12-06T16:40:00.000-05:00

I asked Alex what he thought of my new sneakers. He said, "Lately, there is a thin line that separates flashy... from es-scandalous." He waited for my reaction, then followed-up with the usual, "I just joking."

A Lesson in Evolution

2010-11-15T22:39:00.000-05:00

I've often wondered about evolution and how it all works. How do certain species thrive, while others die off? How did giraffes get such long necks? Why are elephants so fat?

One morning quite recently, I was putting the dirty dishes from my sink into my dishwasher. On this morning, my sink had about six drinking glasses: three tall ones, and three tumblers. I tend to let the dirties pile up, due to my busy schedule. I also tend to soak the silverware in the taller glasses so the dishwasher doesn't have a hard time making them clean.

However, the silverware makes the taller glasses top heavy, and once in a while, they tall glasses with the silverware in them will fall over and crack! The shorter glasses don't have this problem, as they are wider at the bottom and can withstand more of the weight of the forks and knives.

So, I've chalked this up to Charles Darwin's writings on the survival of the fittest. My tumblers are better at dealing with the aggressive nature of my silverware and its gravitational effects. The tall glasses just can't survive in this environment.

Game Winning Goal in Overtime!

2010-10-24T23:22:00.000-04:00

I am proud to announce that I've finally done something that I have only dreamed of doing in the 17 years I've been playing ice hockey ---

Last night in the Wizards game, I scored the game-winning goal in Sudden Death OVERTIME! It was the first shift in overtime, I skated into the zone, my right wing passed it over to me -- I was wide open -- took the shot, right through the 5-hole! We won 2-1.

The entire team jumped off the bench and surrounded me on the ice.

It feels nice! :)

Happy 70th Birthday John Lennon

2010-10-09T00:00:00.000-04:00

Today would have been John Lennon's 70th Birthday. He was born on October 9, 1940 in Liverpool, England. He died on December 8, 1980 in New York City. I'll always be grateful to John for his songs and his inspiration. I "discovered" his genius in college and since then I've probably listened to or sung to myself a Beatles or John Lennon song every day since. His life was cut short 30 years ago, but his voice will live on forever. Happy Birthday, John.

Elsa Leibovitz, 1910-2010

2010-10-03T19:58:00.001-04:00

Dear Gorochod Family Cousins,

I am writing to let you know that Elsa Leibovitz passed away early this morning in Tucson, Arizona, surrounded by her children and grandchildren. She was 100 years old.

Elsa was our oldest living "Gorochod" cousin, and one of the four remaining cousins of her generation of her 34 first cousins. She was the daughter of David and Sophie Gordon. She had 3 children, 9 grandchildren and 7 great-grandchildren.

I was so happy to spend some time with her about three weeks ago when she was in New York visiting. It was incredible listening to her tell stories about events that happened 75 years ago, and she remembered things as if they happened yesterday.

I'll always be grateful to Elsa for sharing her family stories, especially the ones about her time spent with my grandmother, Bertha (her 1st cousin). During our last visit, I recorded about 30 minutes of video with Elsa telling me some of the "classic" stories of the Gorochod Family. Some day, I will find some time to edit them and make them available for you all to see.

Please think about Elsa today, and imagine what it would be like to live 100 years. She was a lucky woman to have such a full life, and we are all lucky that she was a part of ours.

Love,
Cousin Jeff

Bronx Community Pride Bachelor Auction

2010-10-02T12:26:00.003-04:00

I am one of the 20 bachelors being auctioned off this Tuesday night in an effort to raise money for the Bronx Community Pride Center! I hope you'll come to this event and bid on me, or another bachelor. Also, you're welcome to just make a tax-deductible donation!

Bronx Pride Community Center is committed to organizing, serving and empowering members of the LGBT communities to enjoy and realize their full potential and receive the support and services they need to thrive. BCPC provides critical, direct social services, cultural sensitivity trainings, community education and a home for all LGBTQQ-identified individuals, including youth and seniors, to promote the health, education, emotional growth and well-being of the Bronx and northern Manhattan LGBTQQ communities.

A New Home For Alex

2010-08-31T01:20:00.001-04:00

Alex finally got his own place in Brooklyn, very near his sister and her family. He invited me and Will over for dinner: salad, arroz con pollo y avacado. Cupcakes for dessert. We had a nice time drinking in the new apartment. Alex decorates so well. I'm so impressed with his skills. I hope he uses that gift one day and goes on to make something big with his talent.

I am really happy about this. My Alex is on his own. He seems completely independent and content. This is wonderful. :)

Beverly Karas, 1930-2010

2010-08-26T00:09:00.001-04:00

My dad's cousin Beverly Karas passed away on August 22nd. She had just celebrated her 80th birthday last month with her family. This photo is from that day. Today, I attended her funeral. It was at Cedar Park Cemetery in Paramus, New Jersey. The service was graveside, and it was raining. The rabbi did a very nice job. I liked the analogy he made about Beverly as he talked about a flame -- how we light a candle, and although the original flame of the match goes out, the flame of the candle lives on. That was very interesting to think of life. Our parents eventually leave us, but the fire they made still lives on in us, and it continues to burn. That is family.

Beverly was born in Brooklyn, New York, to Gussie (Kagan) and Julius Slotnick. She was the middle of three sisters (Selma and Harriet, her two sisters). My grandmother, Bertha Kagan, was their aunt, and she was so close to them. They spoke all the time.

Beverly married Milton ("Milty") Karas and they raised three kids: Jeffrey, Mitchell and Jill. She also had four grandchildren: Rachel, Matthew, Gayle and Mark. I had the opportunity to meet Mitchell, his wife Sheryl and Jill and her husband Lewis, today, along with their kids. It is sad that this was the first time I met them all. In my experience, most extended families only come together for weddings and funerals, and the occasional Bar or Bat Mitzvah. I wish it were more often, but everyone's lives are busy.

Cousin Judi was there too. Judi is Selma's daughter. Right after the service, standing in front of Jack LaPayover's headstone, she hugged Jill very tightly. Jack was Judi's father. You could see how sad they both were and how much love they shared for Beverly.

After the cemetery, we drove with Cousin Alan over to Jill's house in Freehold. I enjoyed listening to Alan's stories about the "old days". He has a great memory and told me and my parents some fun stories he remembered about growing up with Beverly and the family in Brooklyn.

It's a Boys!

2010-08-03T08:32:00.004-04:00

Congratulations to my cousins Justin Scheck & Chelsea Dodgen on the arrival of two bouncing baby boys, Owen & Henry! The boys were born on July 29, 2010.

And Congratulations to all eight grandparents: Kenny, Jane, Vicki, Peter, Molly, Mike, Bob & Karen. Talk about a Modern Family. Oh, and I can't forget to welcome Matt to "Uncle-hood" & Rebecca to "Aunt-hood". It's going to be so much fun!

I should also point out that the babies are wearing hand-knitted cashmere caps, knitted by knitter-extraordinaire, Jane Saffir. :)

I can't wait to meet these two new additions to the family tree!

The Elena Kagan Connection...or not....

2010-08-02T21:28:00.000-04:00

I just received a copy of the Social Security Application of Elena Kagan's father, Robert Kagan (not my father) This is made possible by the Freedom of Information Act. Once a person dies, there are certain documents which become public. This is one of them. For $27, I may obtain a copy.

I was hoping to use this document to prove that there is a relation between Elena and my family. Unfortunately, it doesn't tell me much. However, there are some interesting coincidences, which I shall divulge now:

Elena Kagan's father was Robert Kagan.

My father is Robert Kagan.

Robert Kagan's mother was Bertha (Small) Kagan.

My father's mother was Bertha (Cohen) Kagan.

All of the above resided in Brooklyn.

I was born in, and currently reside in, Brooklyn.

WOW. Haha. So much for that $27 (application copy cost).

One side note, Robert Kagan's father was Irving Louis Kagan.

My father had an Uncle Irving whose nickname was "Uncle Louie".

Abraham Lincoln was shot in a theatre and his assassin ran to a warehouse.

John F. Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran to a theatre.

Oops... sorry, I got carried away.

Lastly, upon further research, Irving Louis Kagan's family was from Bialystock, Poland. That's 100 miles from Telechan, Belarus, which is where MY Kagan family is from. Sooooooo, I'm not ruling anything out just yet. More to come...

Here's some info about Elena's Family Tree:

http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~battle/celeb/kagan.htm

Signed,

Not-Definitively-Related-To-The-Judge,

Jeff Kagan

Going Up...

2010-08-01T20:12:00.000-04:00

I was about to get in the elevator in my co-op late last night when an elderly couple walked into the lobby from outside. They must have been in their late 70s and were walking slowly towards the elevator area. I called out, "Would you like me to hold the elevator?" The woman answered, "Oh, yes, please."

When they got in, the woman grabbed my arm and said, "Ooooh, child, you are the sweetest thing in the WORLD. Thank you for holding this elevator. You have made my night."

I accepted her praise with a smile.

Then she laughed and said, "Woooo-hooo. All that drinking has made this a wonderful evening. I had a lot to drink. Woooo-eeee. I just hope I make it to my bed."

We all laughed.

Then she continued, "And the only thing that would make this night better is if tomorrow morning I wake up next to a different man."

We all laughed again as the elevator door opened to my floor. I smiled as I walked out, saying, "Well, good luck with that," and looked at her husband and said, "Especially for you."

Shelly Kaplan, 1939-2010

2010-07-13T00:47:00.007-04:00

My cousin, Shelly Kaplan passed away Sunday night after a long battle with lung cancer. She just reached her 71st birthday this past Friday.

I will remember Shelly's sense of humor most. You could always rely on her for a good dirty joke. She told me so many when I was 11 or 12. And she saw the comical side of any subject. I can vividly remember how she would snort when she laughed. That sound usually meant that whatever she was saying was particularly riské. That usually gave her the undivided attention of everyone in the room. I think she enjoyed being the center of attention, something I can relate to, also being the first born.

We would see Shelly at my grandmother's basement apartment in Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn. That seemed to be the central location where entire family always got together. Sometime 12-14 people, in a one-bedroom apartment. It was cozy. We'd all get together for birthdays and holidays, and any other reason if there wasn't a birthday or holiday in the month. Some of my fondest childhood memories were in that apartment, surrounded by my dad's extended family. The big family dinners: either Chinese take-out, or matzoh ball soup, chicken cutlets and brisket. And the best part, my grandmother's sliced half-grapefruit appetizer with a maraschino cherry in the middle. I poured sugar all over it and dug in -- messy but delicious. After dinner, waiting in the freezer, were plastic tubs of Carvel ice cream. Vanilla, Cherry Vanilla and Mint Chocolate Chip (with all of the mini-chocolate chips on top).

Back then, it was quite common for people to smoke in social situations. This was years before anti-smoking messages were popular. I am sure many of my relatives smoked, however, the only ones I remember with cigarettes in hand were Cousin Shelly and Aunt Zece (who died from emphysema in 2005). My mom was a heavy smoker, too. She'd smoke True Green cigarettes. We would beg her to stop. I don't remember if it was because we hated the odor, or if it we had been educated that cigarettes were bad for you. One day, she just quit cold turkey. Way to go, Mom!

Shelly smoked cigarettes as far back as I can remember. I'm think she started very young, maybe even as a teenager. When I was a little older, I would ask Shelly not to smoke around me because it would bother me. Sometimes she would oblige me, other times she would brush off the request and continue talking to whomever she was talking. This was usually in my grandmother's home in Covered Bridge, where she lived after leaving Brooklyn in 1986.

My brother Gary and I would conspire together at ways to prevent her from having another cigarette at her next nicotine craving. We would hide them, or hide her lighter, or maybe even hide her pocket book altogether. That never worked, as she would raise her voice and we'd have to produce the missing contraband.

Once, we asked her to put out her cigarette and she blew a plume of smoke in our faces. Revenge was in order. We planned our attack with great care. Our window of opportunity opened the second Shelly lit a her next cigarette. She placed the pack back in her pocketbook next to her chair. I was able to sneak by and remove her cigarettes, discreetly, and then make my way into the bedroom, where Gary was waiting with a Lipton tea bag, a pair of tweezers and a paper towel. We removed the tobacco from one cigarette and filled the empty cigarette paper with Lipton tea leaves, and then carefully placed the "tea cigarette" back in the pack. The cigarette pack was returned in the same elusive manner as they were removed.

We waited.

It seemed like forever, but she was finally ready for another fix. She lit the "brisk" cigarette and inhaled, coughing at the unfamiliar taste. The smell of burning tea filled the house. It was a putrid stench. Shelly came after us like an angry dragon, breathing fire and screaming obscenities. We ran through the kitchen and escaped, laughing hysterically, outside on the lawn after she gave up the chase. Eventually, we were able to get my Grandmother to insist that there be no smoking in her house, so Shelly would have to go outside.

That is my most memorable experience with Cousin Shelly. I'm sure she wouldn't consider it one of her favorites, but if you could have asked her about it today, she'd probably have laughed. I'll always remember that laugh. I'll miss her.

Three Worst Words You Can Hear?

2010-07-04T22:19:00.003-04:00

My friend Dylan asked me, "What are the worst three words you can hear when you are making love to your lover?"

I guessed, "I have herpes?"

He said, "Honey, I'm home."

First of all, I think "Honey, I'm home" might be considered four words, as "I'm" is a contraction for "I am".

And incidentally, the thought of being beaten up by a jealous husband is a much more appealing outcome than contracting a venereal disease. And not just any venereal disease, but that one I like to call "the gift that keeps on giving..."

(and no, for the record, I do not have (nor have I ever had) any venereal diseases). :)

Epic Disaster

2010-07-04T10:44:00.003-04:00

I got home a little while ago from a short trip out to sea and back on the Norwegian Epic. I was one of the lucky passengers to be on board for the inaugural trip and christening of the newest and largest ship in the Norwegian Cruise Line fleet. I have to thank my friend Brett for bringing me along as his guest. Brett works for a travel magazine. Most of the passengers this weekend were in the travel industry: writers, travel agents, critics, etc. And then the guests of those people, like me.

We boarded the ship just after noon on Friday, July 2nd. It was very nice. Friendly staff, all smiles, always saying hello. That was funny -- 10 people saying hello to you as you walk down the gang-plank. We went to find our room first. The walk (each time) to the room took a little over a minute. You can imagine how far it was. And how difficult this feat was while intoxicated?

HBO's Jeff Garlin was on hand to kick off the opening show in the big theatre on the ship. He was terrific. I was hoping he would be on the cruise so I could possibly meet him, but he left before we sailed for the open seas. He had a good time with the presentation of the ship's features.

After Jeff Garlin, a "brother" (not as high ranking as a "Father", I suppose) came up on stage to say a prayer. He evoked several religious expressions and talked about God being bigger than all of us. I guess they have to do this ever since some schmuck on the Titanic said, "Even God himself could not sink this ship." You don't want to piss him off the almighty like that again... kiss up. :)

Reba McIntyre christened the ship with a smile and a few words. But no songs? Awww.

Some of the experiences of the trip:

Blue Man Group: I've never seen it in New York, so this was a treat. Very creative. A little disgusting at some points. I laughed and smiled. B+

Teppanyaki Hibachi Japanese Cuisine: Best part of my entire trip. Chefs were funny, talented showmen, wonderful cooks. A+

Accommodations: The staterooms were small, but that's to be expected. The bed was comfortable. There was a lot (and I mean A LOT) of storage space. There were no life preservers in our room, which may have been an oversight... not a good one. There was a sign on one cabinet with a little picture of a life preserver, but nothing in the cabinet. Maybe the last ones were used and never replaced? Hmmm. B

The bathrooms offered little privacy. It was a sliding plastic door. And let's just say, if you're sharing a room with someone, and they're in the bathroom, you can hear it all, in 5.1 Dolby Digital. The bathroom sinks were like the little sink at the dentist's office. Water splashed everywhere. Not very well thought out. D

The worst experience of this trip was one of the shows, Cirque Dreams and Dinner. This was a show which incorporated a story about a prince (who seemed to have been mocked by the storyteller for being bisexual or gay...hmmm). There were also some borderline derrogatory jokes about Jews and Asians. Throughout the story, members of Cirque du Soleil were doing some pretty amazing stunts and contortionist displays. A lot of muscles and what looked like yoga moves sitting on top of stacked chairs. However, the story part of the show was worse than awful. I couldn't take it. I drank heavily to get through the pain. The "host" of the show was a character named "Da Bill". This man needs to be shot, stabbed, beaten, burned and hanged, and then thrown off the ship with an anvil tied to his ankles. And I'm being generous. Norwegian Cruise Lines needs to re-think this show. It would be wonderful if it were only the Cirque acrobats doing stunts between courses. Until then, F.

Other Fond Memories: Brett signed up for a wifi connection. It asked for a personally created password and Brett chose "epicdisaster". That made me laugh out loud, and is the simple explanation for the title of this blog entry.

Overall, for a free cruise, I shouldn't complain too much. The ship was big. The food was decent to good (exception: AMAZING at Teppanyaki). The entertainment was average to good (exception: Da Bill!) The crew: accommodating and very friendly.

Maybe I'm just not a cruise person. But I wouldn't dissuade anyone from trying this for themselves. Just go in with average expectations.

Gareth Thomas

2010-06-26T12:31:00.002-04:00

I just watched HBO's Real Sports and the segment they did on Gareth Thomas, a Welch Rugby star who came out in December 2009. He described how lonely he was and how he felt that his entire life was a lie, not being truthful about who he really was in every relationship he had with friends, with his parents, with everyone. At times he contemplated suicide. Very emotional story. It brought me to tears.

He would out to bars with his teammates and he'd always go for the prettiest girl in the bar, hoping she'd shoot him down. He said that when you go for the not-so-pretty girl, there's a better chance you'll get her. Haha! When he got the prettiest girl, then he had a problem of what to do at the end of the night.

Finally, he couldn't take the stress anymore. The coach from another team who was a friend for many years, took him out to talk. He broke down and told this friend his secret. The coach said that he needed to tell a few other people because it was killing Gareth by keeping this inside.

Gareth expected it to be awful. He came out. Media sensation. Soon enough, as he feared, fans of an opposing team started making homophobic remarks at games. The rugby league then fined that team and removed those fans from coming to the games! They supported Gareth. This told Gareth that the league was behind him and they stood up for him. That says so much.

I hope Gareth's story inspires some American athletes to come out and tell the world who they are. Those athletes would be such wonderful role models for so many people. Some day.

GOTHAM KNIGHTS CELEBRATE AFTER WINNING THE BINGHAM CUP

2010-06-25T23:25:00.001-04:00

GOTHAM KNIGHTS CELEBRATE AFTER WINNING THE BINGHAM CUP by Jeff Kagan

“The last few seconds of the game, we were just counting down. There were four minutes left on the clock. We knew that we were up 18-15. Then the Convicts had a chance to tie the game with a 3-point kick, but he missed! The whistle blew! The guys were jumping up and down on the field!” Jose Rogel, #2 Hooker (yes, you heard me) of the Gotham Knights Rugby Football Club (www.gothamrfc.org) described the final seconds of the game that lead the team to their first Bingham Cup win since the inception of this biannual tournament. “It was incredible,” says Rogel who has played with Gotham for over eight years.

The Bingham Cup tournament was named after Mark Bingham, a former University of California Berkeley rugby player who died in the September 11, 2001 attacks. About eight teams meet every two years to compete for the gay rugby’s most prized possession (not to mention bragging rights).

Both the A & B “sides” (teams) were on hand to celebrate at Boxers NYC where we caught up with one of the co-owners of this new Chelsea sports bar, Chris Negado. Negado is also a member of the Knights and he spoke proudly of the tournament and his team’s accomplishment, winning the cup for the first time since its inception: “For us, we count Mark Bingham as one of our own. So finally for it to be our turn to hold the cup named after him, it means a lot to us. Everyone you see here that has played, gave blood, sweat and tears for our club.”

We bumped into hunky Joseph Hunt, Captain of the A Side. Originally from London, England, Hunt found the Gotham Knights through their website. After meeting the group, he was so impressed, he stuck around. “Its got to be the best social dynamic I’ve ever been involved with. I love New York City and those two combined have inspired me to stay and play full time.” Hunt grabbed the microphone and said some inspirational words to his teammates, which was followed by the sight of 25 glasses raised high.

Throughout the night, the actual Bingham Cup (a large, engraved silver chalice about 2 feet tall) was passed around from player to player, as each took a hearty drink from it. One player commented, “That’s the taste of winning.”

Some of the familiar faces of the Gotham Knights were on hand enjoying the spoils of victory including Yacov Braunstein (President, Gotham Knights RFC), Pos Kyriacou (Head coach), Paul Heslop (Assistant Coach), Bob Hoban (Assistant Coach), Toby Butterfield (President of the Metropolitan New York Rugby Football Union), Scott Glaessgen (Founder, Gotham Knights RFC), Joe Rice, Scrum Half and Renee Ovrut (MET NY RFU Secretary).

Assistant Coach Bob Hoban summed up his feelings for the night in a few words: happy, rewarding, uplifting, tiring and emotional.

Towards the end of a long night of “hydrating”, some of the louder players began a playful call & answer type cheering presentation amongst themselves. It began with some colorful metaphors, possibly meant to taunt one’s opponent, but ended in the more familiar, “Christina! Bring me the axe.” That was of course followed by, “Because I am not one of your fans!”

Front Runners New York: Just Doin’ It!

2010-06-25T23:23:00.001-04:00

Front Runners New York: Just Doin’ It!

By Jeff Kagan

"In running, it doesn't matter whether you come in first, in the middle of the pack, or last. You can say, 'I have finished.' There is a lot of satisfaction in that." Those words of wisdom came from Fred Lebow, the co-founder of the New York City Marathon.

Those sentiments are echoed by Rob Lennon, the President of Front Runners New York, the local gay & lesbian running club that has been Keeping Gay Runners On Their Toes For Over 30 Years. Lennon has been with the club for the past seven of those 30 years.

Every week, you’ll find him shakin’ a leg at the Front Runner’s Saturday Morning Fun Run. While you may be sitting on your couch watching cartoons, the Front Runners are out in Central Park, dripping with perspiration and endorphins, as they take the loop.

These Adidas-donned dandies meet up at the Rutgers Presbyterian Church on West 73^rd Street just before the 10am run. They drop off their bags and hit the pavement. When they return, it’s bagels and coffee all around thanks to the generosity of some member volunteers. And for those who want more (running, not bagels), there is another weekly Fun Run at 7pm on Wednesday nights. Don’t worry Brooklyn hipsters: there’s a weekly jog through Prospect Park on Tuesday nights, too.

Front Runners New York started with just a few dozen people and now they have close to 700 paid members. The membership fee is only $30 per year. That gets you access to their programs on running, cycling, swimming and multisport workouts. “It’s the best $30 you can spend,” says Lennon. “You can do something with the group almost every night of the week.”

The group’s marquee event is the 29^th Annual Front Runners New York Lesbian and Gay Pride Run, on Saturday, June 26, 2010. It started out as a small race with only a few hundred runners back in the early 80s, when the magical sounds of Olivia Newton-John were dancing through the airwaves. Now, about 5,000 joyful joggers participate in this 5-mile race, which attracts people from all over the United States and the world. There are prizes and raffles, and even a special guest star to sing the national anthem! Thinking about participating? Just do it. (We can say that, right?)

For more information, go to www.frny.org.

Quickies

Touch My Scrum: The Gotham Knights Rugby Club raised over $8,000 at their annual Bachelor Auction on Wednesday, May 26^th. Next stop is Minneapolis for the biannual Bingham Cup, June 18^th thru 21^st.

Hooking! Jeff Kagan got the “triple-crown” in hockey (according to Captain Bob Glasscock) on May 22^nd by lighting up the score board with a goal, an assist and a penalty (Hooking! No, it’s not what you think…) The B-17 Bombers went on to win the game 4-2! On June 5^th, the Bombers stepped on the Spiders 4-2 in an epic gay hockey battle.

Dribble on a Lay-up: The Men’s Division playoffs bounced by on June 6^th. The B-Division Natural Burn Killahz whipped the asses of Splash Bar by 21 points thanks to Greg Romer’s scoring barrage. Final score, 45-24. The Killahz will face Gym Bar in the Finals on June 13^th at the Field House at Chelsea Piers.

Endless Luv: Congratulations on the Metropolitan Tennis Group’s 25^th Anniversary. Be sure to check out MTG’s upcoming Liberty Open Tournament, July 3^rd – 6^th at USTA National Tennis Center in Flushing Meadows-Corona Park, Queens. For more information, email libertyopen@aol.com.

Happy 100th Birthday Cousin Elsa!

2010-06-25T22:21:00.005-04:00

It was a Saturday in 1910, 100 years ago on June 25th, and Elsa Gorochod was born in Brooklyn, New York. This year, her birthday is on a Friday. Elsa just celebrated her first century on Earth. I spoke to her this afternoon and asked her how she feels being 100. She said, "Jeff, its difficult. My mind is 40, but my body is 100."

Elsa is my grandmother's 1st cousin. Their fathers were brothers. They were very close throughout the years and Elsa told me so many great stories about the history of our family (at least the Gorochod branch). I will always be grateful to her for the information she handed down to me for the Family Tree. :)

Elsa (Center) with her brothers Milton (left) and Julius (right).
Her younger cousin Monty in front. Photo circa 1923.

I visited Elsa in Tucson, Arizona in 2005.

HAPPY 100th BIRTHDAY Elsa!

May you have 100 more!

Love, Cousin Jeff

Tired...

2010-06-23T00:32:00.004-04:00

I was telling someone in the bar tonight how tired I am from the weekend (Chelsea Challenge). He claimed that I didn't look tired. I told him it was caffeine and hair gel. That's my secret.

The Chelsea Challenge was AMAZING this year. We had 200 skaters. That's our biggest tournament ever. Although my team lost every game, we had a good time and played our best.

On Friday night, I stayed out until 3am, and woke up at 7:30am to get back to the rink. On Saturday, I played THREE games. Saturday night, I stayed out until 3am, and woke up at 7:00am, to get back to the rink. On Sunday, I was toast. Dry, white toast.

Alexism: Rue McClanahan

2010-06-03T21:45:00.002-04:00

Jeff: Rue McClanahan died today.

Alex: Who is dat?

Jeff: You know, she was on that show with the four old women.

Alex: Sex and the City?

Just like Gary Cooper, huh?

2010-05-31T17:51:00.003-04:00

I've recently noticed a resemblance between my grandfather, Harry Kagan, and the actor Gary Cooper. I mentioned it to my Dad this weekend and he said that he's heard that before. Pretty cool, huh?

Making Saves With Style by Jeff Kagan

2010-05-28T20:38:00.003-04:00

THE SCORE: Making Saves With Style
by Jeff Kagan
Published in Next Magazine, May 21, 2010
http://www.nextmagazine.com/feature-article/score-making-saves-style/

When Peter Tomasello was a kid, he was infatuated with Wonder Woman. After school, he would watch Lynda Carter “in her satin tights, fighting for your rights,” roping up thugs with her golden lasso—and all with fabulous hair and make-up!

All of that excited Peter, but what he enjoyed the most was when she would stop bullets with her indestructible feminum bracelets (made from a metal found only on Paradise Island). Peter would go to the kitchen cupboard, break out the Reynold’s Wrap and fashion his own feminum (err, aluminum) bracelets to his limber wrists, and soon he’d be stopping whatever was hurled upon him by evil foes.

Today, at 33, Tomasello isn’t stopping imaginary bullets; he’s blocking hockey pucks as the starting goaltender with the Wizards, a recreational ice hockey team in the New York City Gay Hockey Association. Tomasello has played 83 career games for the Wizards and has a goals-against average (GAA) of just 3.23, including 10 shutouts. Peter also has five assists, which shows his skill at sending the puck up to his defensemen, a rare quality in goaltenders.

Tomasello does agree that there is a strong link between his childhood obsession with the super heroine and his affinity for goaltending. “I was infatuated with Lynda Carter, “ he says. “That’s probably why I’m a goalie. I used to love blocking bullets like Wonder Woman!”

Vince Aita, captain of the Wizards says, “Pete gives our team a huge boost in confidence. Anytime you look back and see him in the net, you skate that much harder knowing the better goaltender in the game is on your team.”

Wonder Woman had the same effect on the Justice League.

Learn more about Peter Tomasello, the Wizards and NYC Gay Hockey Association at NYCGayHockey.org.

SPORTS QUICKIES

Ow! My face! Big Apple Dodgeball’s teams Eagle, C-in2, and Duplex are all duking it out for first place. All have played strong and with one week of regular play to go, it’s anyone’s game. These ball-throwers have a tournament on May 24 where one “dodgy” team will be crowned champs of the season. And don’t miss the end-of-the-season party at therapy on May 27! Also, The Mariah Scareys are kicking ass and taking names in the straight dodgeball league for NYCSSC. They are vying for first place, and with the competition heating up, they are making quite the name for themselves.

He shoots! He scores! NYC Gay Hockey Association quickies: the Spiders and B-17 Bombers kicked off their Spring 2010 season this month with a shut-out win for the Bombers, but they lost this past Saturday in a crushing 7-1 loss to those pesky Scapegoats. Sadly, the Spiders were squashed with a very tough loss as well. Keep your eyes on the ice for Brian Harrington, star skater on the Wizards Hockey team—he’s about to reach his 500th game! Goaltender Peter Tomasello is one shut out away from a record of 50! The Wizards beat the Hornets in Game 1, 4-1. Finally, the NY Stonewallers Ice Hockey Team is hosting a Bachelor Auction on May 19 at 6pm at Splash with Peppermint! Win great prizes including Yankees tickets, tickets to a Broadway show, gym memberships, dinner at a hot New York restaurant, 50-50 cash prize raffle and more!

Nailed it! Congratulations to the newly elected Executive Board of the Gotham Volleyball League: Seth Eichenholtz (Commissioner), Josh Christensen (Vice Commissioner), Lew Smith (Treasurer) and Craig Skelton (Secretary). Keep up the great work, guys!

Why is a pool table green? The New York Gay Pool League is rackin’ ’em up for their Spring Nine-Ball Series Tournament. The games are on Mondays or Tuesdays each week at various locations. Cost: $30 and there is $1000 in cash prizes divided amongst the top four teams.

I Want to Ride My Bicycle! Three members of gay cycling group, the Fast and Fabulous, made it all the way up to the Orchards, a 300-year-old farm store in Pomona, New York and a distance of 80 miles roundtrip on Sunday, May 9. It was a chilly and windy ride. On arriving at the farm store, the proprietor advised the riders: “Folks are coming in to buy a nice plant or flower for mom on Mother’s Day. Hell, I tell ’em, weather’s cool enough; buy her a cord of wood!”

Dribble & Shoot! The New York City Gay Basketball League is in the final weeks of their spring season. A-Division: Bone Lick Park, led by Captain Jesse Gauf, remains undefeated and is looking to hold on to the No. 1 seed. B-Division: The Natural Burn Killahz led by Captain Burnie DuRant Jr. is the team to beat! In other basketball news, the NYCGBL just returned from the Coady Roundball Classic in Chicago, a national tournament in the Windy City. No trophies but more fun than any baller should have.

For a complete listing of all gay sports and recreation organizations, check out OOBNYC.org.

Alex on Superheroes

2010-05-28T00:12:00.001-04:00

Jeff: Do you have superheroes in Colombia? Superman? Wonder Woman?

Alex: No, we have Pablo Escobar.

Alex on Work

2010-05-28T00:11:00.000-04:00

Alex: Should I do all the painting by myself, and work all day? But I will be exhausted after.

Jeff: You love to work

Alex: No, I love to make money. It's different.

Alexism: Popeye The Sailor

2010-05-10T17:34:00.002-04:00

We say two sailors walking in Brooklyn. One was slightly overweight. Alex said, "Dat is a fat bersion of Poe-PAY-Jay"

I asked, "Who is Poe-PAY-Jay?"

He said, "The cartoon sailor!! Poe-PAY-Jay"

Apparently, this is how Colombians pronounce POPEYE.

Well blow me down! Ahhh Kuh Kuh Kuh Kuh Kuh Kuh Kuh Kuh.

Obama Selects Kagan for Supreme Court

2010-05-10T12:10:00.006-04:00

Last night, around 10:30pm, CNN began playing their "Breaking News" music, followed by the flashy red graphics and headline: BREAKING NEWS: OBAMA SELECTS KAGAN FOR SUPREME COURT.

I was delighted, but thought he should have called me before selecting me to sit on the Nation's highest court. Then I realized that I wasn't the "Kagan" at the center of this story. That "Kagan" is Elena Kagan. Easy mistake, right?

This morning, I received about 15 emails and Facebook tweets from friends either congratulating me on the selection, or asking me if I am related to Elena. Quite honestly, I don't know if she and I are blood relatives. But there is a possibility.

My grandfather, Harry Kagan had an older brother, Sam Kagan. Sam came to this country in May, 1914 with his sister (my great-aunt), Edna. They came here to meet their father, (my great-grandfather) Hyman who had emigrated earlier (date still unknown).

World War I began, and that meant it was harder for people to travel from Europe to the United States, for fear of German u-boat attacks. As a result, my grandfather and his three other siblings could not come to New York until 1920, after the war had ended. And by that time, my great-grandmother, Sarah Gittel Kagan had died, leaving my young grandfather and his siblings in the care of their elderly grandmother for almost two years.

In New York -- well, Brooklyn, actually, my family settled down. For some reason, the family name was changed from Kagan to Cohen, here in the United States. When Hyman Kagan came over, he became Hyman Cohen. Sam and Edna Kagan became Sam and Ida Cohen. This could be another typical Ellis Island story, or it could be that the names Kagan and Cohen are interchangeable in the English/Russian languages. I'm still researching this too. However, by 1920, when my grandfather and his siblings arrived, they ended up with the true family name: Kagan.

Sam Kagan/Cohen became estranged from the family. Rumor has it that he left his wife and their seven children, for another woman. He even took her last name, Gordon, as it now reads on his headstone at the Floral Park Cemetery in Monmouth, New Jersey. In all of the research I've done, I have not been able to find out anything about Sam's children. I don't even know if their last name is Kagan or Cohen.

I don't know if Elena Kagan is the daughter of one of Sam's children. I have learned that her father's name was Robert Kagan (just like my father is Robert Kagan). It is very possible that we are related.

I will have more clues in 2012 when the 1940 US Census is released and I can try to track down Sam's family and the names of his children. I was unsuccessful at finding them in the 1930 US Census.

Keep that long, black robe waiting... :)

George Larys, 1936-2010

2010-05-09T22:47:00.003-04:00

While I was home today for Mother's Day, my mom told me that our old neighbor George Larys passed away on April 14th. I haven't seen George in over 25 years, as he and his wife Aida, and their four children moved from Old Bridge to Morganville, NJ.

I have just a few memories of him, as I was only a child when he was our neighbor. He was always smiling. That's mostly what I remember. A happy man, and he seemed to really enjoy life. I know he loved his kids. He spent a lot of time with them around the house. Whenever I would go over there to visit, he was around, making jokes and having fun.

The one thing I will never forget -- I must have been 6 years old. George had a red convertible sports car. I remember admiring it, as it looked like one of the toy cars I had. He asked me if I wanted to take a ride in the car. I happily agreed, without asking my mother if it was alright. I got in and we took off down the block. To me, it felt like we were flying at 100 miles per hour, but in reality, we were probably only going 25. He zoomed around the corner to Marlin Road, and then all the way around and back to Arvin Road. The entire trip lasted less than a minute.

When we drove back down our street, there was my mother, pacing up and down in the middle of the street, terrified, thinking I had been kidnapped. She was very nervous, but glad to have learned that I was only driving around with George, and not a stranger. He apologized over and over, with his big smile. All was forgiven. She made me promise to always tell her where I was going in the future.

My heart goes out to Aida, and their four kids, whom I remember spending a lot of time with as a child: Eric, Yurek, Elizabeth and Raquel.

Fact or Fiction

2010-03-21T11:13:00.003-04:00

Last night, in my hockey game, an opposing player called one of our players a "f*ck*ng c*ck-s*ck*ng f*gg*t." We dealt with it, and this person was tossed from the game.

After the game, one of my players joked with me, "But what if it's TRUE?"

LOL.

Technically, he was right, in a manner of speaking. However, one must ask the question: Was the opposing player's statement meant to be a statement of fact or a verbal attack to express disapproval of the prior play?

Let's guess it was the latter.

Two Alexisms in One Night!

2010-03-17T00:21:00.004-04:00

When I told him an "old friend" was coming back after not seeing him for a long time, Alex said, "Where fire use to be ashes are still there."

Then, we had dinner in a Japanese restaurant, and I ordered edamame, which I get everytime I have Japanese food.

Alex sarcastically said, "You and you Aunt Jemima."

Alexism: Last Will & Testament

2010-03-05T22:42:00.000-05:00

"People with thousand has to make wills. We are not talking about pennies."

Alexism: Hunger

2010-01-31T22:26:00.001-05:00

"Jeff, make pancakes with eggs for breakfast before I die from hungriness."

Happy New Year 2010

2009-12-31T12:41:00.002-05:00

Well, here I am again, another New Year's Eve (2009). I'm going to a party tonight with one of my hockey teammates. I'm excited to be going out. Last year I stayed home alone. That was pretty boring.

On the news, most reports are saying how bad 2009 was, and how people can't wait until its over. I suppose there were many bad things that happened this year in the world. I'm sure there was many good things that happened too. It seems like the news reporters only choose to follow the bad stories, rather than seek out the inspirational stories. Is that human nature? Looking for the bad rather than the good? Or is that because bad gets more people watching, which in turn leads to more dollars for that news station?

I think 2009 was OK. I made many new friends this year. I saw another successful year for the NYC Gay Hockey Association, the NYC Gay Basketball League, and Out of Bounds NYC/Team New York. For the latter, we raised lots of money and bought uniforms for the NYC players going to Copenhagen for the Outgames 2009. Nice! Oh, and the NYCGBL was recognized as a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit tax-exempt organization this year! Special thanks to my birthday buddy Swati for all of her help with that!

On New Years Eve, you are supposed to look at the things you have in your life, and be thankful. No, wait, that's Thanksgiving. Nevermind. But there are many things I am thankful for. I'm thankful to have my parents, who are both so loving and supportive of me, and very generous. I have my brother and sister, and their kids: Lauren, Logan, Holly and Rachel, the most wonderful little children this world has ever seen (no, I'm not biased).

I am thankful for my home and the wonderful neighbors I have. I am thankful for having Alex in my life. As much as we're no longer a couple, he's still one of the most important people to me. He is part of my family. And he cracks me up. That counts.

I am thankful for my job at HBO and how successful the company has been over the years, even more so now. It is a great place to work, and I am lucky to have really nice people surrounding me during the workday.

I have a lot to be thankful for, don't I? :) Well, Happy New Year to anyone reading this. Best wishes in 2010.

The Metrocard Thief

2009-12-31T12:37:00.002-05:00

Alex: This morning I took your Metrocard. Mine expired.

Jeff: When did you take it? When I was sleeping? I didn't hear you come in my room.

Alex: I an a professional...

Thinking of Grandma

2009-12-10T14:19:00.001-05:00

Today is the 3rd anniversary of my grandma's passing. I'm thinking about her today (as I do every day).

Rockefellers, Rothschilds, Ratzenberger...

2009-12-07T15:35:00.003-05:00

I was having lunch with a friend this weekend, and there was a rather loud man at a nearby table, talking about everything and anything. It was quite annoying, as he didn't realize how his voice carried.

One hypothesis he raised to his less-than-interested companion, was that 911 was a hoax, and that wealthy families were trying to cover it up. He listed the families, "Rockefeller, Rothschilds, Ratzenberger, know what I mean?"

This is one of the better-known wealthy Ratzenberger's...

Our own Cliff Claven from Cheers!

People...People. Who needs people.

2009-11-26T18:51:00.000-05:00

Thoughts on a NJ-bound train: Sitting next to a woman who is holding a sleeping child, its feet resting on my right leg, while mother takes up 1.5 seats of this 2-seater on which we sit, I am reminded of my disdain for the human race.

Choices

2009-11-16T13:22:00.002-05:00

I was talking with a friend about another friend of his who has had some problems with his family accepting that he's gay. My friend said, "His family loves him but they are Christian and they don't accept homosexuality."

Isn't being Christian is a choice?

Silver Dollar Pancakes

2009-11-15T11:34:00.003-05:00

This morning, I decided to make breakfast for Alex and me. I got out the Aunt Jemima's mix and made Silver Dollar Pancakes. Alex took one look at the griddle, seeing the non-regulation sized pancakes and said, "You and you tiny pancakes. Why don't you be serious??"

When I was a kid, my dad used to make these for breakfast for all of us. It was a special treat!

Alexism: Seafood

2009-11-08T10:09:00.001-05:00

Jeff: You're being very selfish.

Alex: Selfish? Is that seafood?

Alexism: Halloween

2009-10-15T22:56:00.000-04:00

"For Halloween, my friend is going to be Peter Pan and I'm going to be Jingle Bell."

My boy...ummm...

2009-09-26T21:31:00.002-04:00

I was at the Brooklyn Flea Market today, looking at some old maps. There was a very pretty girl looking at the pile of maps next to me. A handsome young man came over to tell her about another item on display at the booth.

Her cell phone rang and shortly into the conversation she said, "I'm at the flea market with my boy...." Then she looked around to see whether or not the young man was within earshot. He wasn't. She continued, "...the guy I'm dating."

Alexism: Disease Days

2009-09-11T23:46:00.000-04:00

Alex: How many disease days do you get from work?

Jeff: Disease days?

Alex: Yes, when you don't go to work because you have a disease?

Alexism Wisdomism

2009-08-17T16:48:00.001-04:00

"Don't close all de doors until you open de windows."

Random Thoughts & Experiences in Ukraine

2009-08-14T12:49:00.005-04:00

Count Felix Pototsky
Our tour guide told us about Count Pototsky, who was a very, very wealthy man in Stanislaw (now called Ivano-Frankivs'k). His reputation lives on to this day when people use sarcasm about how much something costs: Who do you think I am? Pototsky!? He would be the equivalent to Rockefeller in the U.S.

Sounds of the Cemetery
While spending much of my time on this trip at various old, Jewish cemeteries, I heard the sounds of horses, cows, goats, roosters & various chirping birds. There was also so many insects, salamanders and snails.

A Visit to the Mayor's Office in Delatyn
The Mayor was unavailable to see us, but the town Secretary was there and she was very friendly. She spoke to Alex, our guide, in Ukrainian, and he translated. She asked each of us what we do for work and where we live. She told me her daughter lives in Brooklyn and that she cleans apartments for a living.

The Secretary then called an 84-year old woman to ask her if she knew some surnames (Heiferman, Hubschmann, etc). Unfortunately, none of them was familiar to her, and her hearing was pretty bad.

Outside of the office and across the street, a kids football (soccer) game was going on.

Cemetery in Delatyn
We drove the van up a big hill, on a very bumpy gravely road. Then we had to drive over a small, wooden bridge. Scary... The cemetery was on a hillside. There were hundreds of headstones, most of them at 45 degree angles, many of them had falled over, flat on the ground. Some of them had roman letters (e.g. like English, rather than Hebrew). One headstone had a swastika spray painted on it. Others had some graffiti. These are 100 year old graves. The graffiti was new.

A Walk Through the Woods
Alex wanted to show us a memorial that was erected in Delatyn at the site where hundreds of Jews were taken into the forest and murdered. We walked about a half-mile into the woods, and couldn't find the memorial. Alex told us to stay put, and he went off to find someone who could help us. We were in the middle of a forest... wondering if there were bears around... while waiting, I picked some fresh blackberries from the bushes. They were delicious. Some of my cousins tried them, but others were not willing to risk dysentery.

Alex came back about 30 minutes later, with an older woman, in her 60s. Her name was Luba. She pointed and walked past us. The memorial was about 50 feet away, through a small overgrown path.

Baby, You Can Drive My Car...
Driving in Ukraine is much less boring than in New York City. Here in Ukraine, everyone seems to be in a hurry. And most roads are two lanes (one in each direction). Our driver's name was Gena (pronounced "Genna"). He actually did a great job, and got us up mountains, through tiny streets, and here and there. I was impressed with his skill. The one thing that scared the hell out of me was the highway driving. It's quite normal to pass cars that are not going as fast as you'd like, so we kept passing cars, buses, trucks, etc. The only issue is that the passing lane was the oncoming traffic lane. And in some cases, we'd be passing on turns, or just before hills. We had a few "close calls" but nothing deadly or too dangerous. Gena knew what he was doing.

We drove through the Carpathian Mountains to get to one of the towns. On the way, we saw a cool market (on top of the mountain). We stopped on the way back and I bought some more stuff. They sold sheepskins, antiques, toys, traditional Ukrainian clothing and food.

Park Hotel
While in Ivano-Frankivs'k, we stayed at the Park Hotel. Its a very nice place at a very nice price. I paid around $59/night. The hotel is situated on a park-like grounds, and just next to an enormous man-made resevoir (which looks like a lake). This thing was HUGE. I tried to walk around it one evening, but it took me almost an hour to just get 3/4 of the way to one end, so I turned around and walked back.

There is a full time security guard who sits in the lobby and walks around a little bit. He wears a bullet proof vest. He was in excellent shape, and his tight-fit uniform had me staring a little too much. I even dared to say hello to him every time I saw him, but he would only nod, and never speak back. I will admit it, I had a little bit of a crush on this one...

On the second night, we had dinner in the main dining room. There was a piano and a young man came in to play music while we ate. It was lovely. The food was very good too. After dinner, we all got together in one of the rooms and went over the days notes and sites. I was the "recorder" as I typed everyone's comments up. I'll publish them on my website with corresponiding pictures in the near future.

One enjoyable part of my stay was when I took a bubble bath in the very large bathtub. I put The Platters on my iPhone and relaxed.

In Ivano-Frankivs'k there are no English-speaking television channels. However, one evening, I watched an old Star Trek episode in Russian. That was unique... Chekov didn't have too many lines, but I was hoping they would use his English.

Last Day in L'viv
We drove back to L'viv yesterday, and my cousins all continued on the next part of their trip to Poland. I stayed behind and I will be heading back to New York tomorrow. This afternoon, I was sitting at a table at a sidewalk cafe called MAHAPHKH (in Ukrainian cyrillic). I have no idea what that translates to, but my guess would be Joe's Pub. I ordered a pizza with olives, onions, peppers and cheese. I enjoyed a large glass-mug of beer, a local brand. It was cold and good.
I was at the flea market earlier and I bought some more nick-nacks for friends and family back home.

Holy Moly
I have noticed that, in L'viv, churches are situated like Starbucks in America, there's one on every block. And older people, more that younger, will cross themselves when passing one. On the streetcar, an old man did several as we passed many churches. That's quite a work-out.

I visited an old Ukrainian-Polish Cemetery today. There were many famous people buried there, yet, I didn't know who any of them were. Also, no one at the front desk spoke English, so I was on my own to explore at random. I walked all the way to the back of the cemetery and discovered a very large field-like section, full of rows and rows of crosses, each one a grave. It looked much like the graves at Arlington National Cemetery in Virgina. I looked at the dates of these headstones, and sure enough, they were all 1918, 1919, 1920. These were soldiers in World War I. A veterans section. It was very sad, reading all of these names as I walked by the rows. Some of these soldiers were 16 or 17 years old.

Ukraine: Bruno or Borat?

2009-08-08T13:11:00.002-04:00

The Gay Rights Movement has yet to reach Lviv and western Ukraine. I'm sure there are homosexuals here, as we are everywhere, but sadly, they live a secret life, hiding in the closet, in fear of their safety. I am not in this city looking to meet other guys, although it would be nice to be able to talk to other gay people to see what life is like for them here. Sadly, there is no way to find anyone to talk to.

I just wish there was more "Bruno" here and less "Borat".

Ukrainian Flea Market: Penny Pinchers

2009-08-08T12:45:00.002-04:00

I went back to the flea market today to pick up some things my brother asked for. I also found some cute toys which I will bring back for the nieces and nephew. One vendor was selling old items and I noticed three pictures that made me look a little closer. Each one depicted a caricature of a Jewish man, with stereotypical features. And in each picture, the Jew was either counting his money, or holding onto a bag of it very tightly, and looking suspicious. I tried to discreetly snap a photo of these, but the vendor saw me, and he quickly came out in front of the booth and stood in front of these pictures. I walked away.

Nothing says "Welcome to my country, Jew" like peddling anti-semitic images.

Ukraine: Where the Mullet Lives Forever

2009-08-08T12:36:00.003-04:00

You know, I've noticed a lot of mullets in this country. I suppose, like almost everything else about the culture here, things are about 30-40 years behind the United States. I hope they catch up soon, if only to do away with those damn mullets.

In the main square outside of the Opera House there were some teenagers breakdancing. Breakdancing! Seriously.

Ukrainian Day Tripper

2009-08-08T02:34:00.003-04:00

I spent the day yesterday walking. I must have walked at least 5 miles, all over Lviv. This isn't an easy feat on my feet, as most of the streets are cobblestone, and all of the sidewalks are crooked. But, I forged ahead.

I started my "journey" just outside of my hotel, in the park-like square across from the Opera House. I decided to start the day with a rest (jetlag is weird), so I sat on the park bench and watched people go by. I saw two women, one much older (probably in her 50s, but she looked like she was in her 70s) with orange smocks on. One of them was holding a broom that looked like something out of a Grimm Fairy Tale. It was a band of twigs tied together with twine, around a long, lathed wooden stick (which was manufactured in a factory probably). The women were talking, but when they finished, the older woman with the broom started to sweep the sidewalk. I wonder if she is employed by the city to do this?

I also noticed many homeless people sitting on the other benches all around. A few even approached me, but I wasn't able to communicate, other than to say, "I'm sorry, I don't speak Ukrainian." They looked at me as if I were from another country, and walked away. Most of the homeless here ask for cigarettes, not money. They seem to have a small "network" of friends who walk by, carrying small plastic bags of cans and bottles (just like home, but smaller, more convenient bags). They talk to each other, smile, and then continue walking. I suppose the city is small enough that many of them are familiar.

Another interesting observation: many people sell goods right out on the sidewalk. Especially produce. I walked down one busy street that had person after person, pushing tomatoes, apples, pommegranites, and some fruits and vegetables that I've never seen. They have their lot in a small plastic container, about 18" x 24". They stand behind it and talk to you as you pass, asking if you're interested. Other people sell little cups of pine-nuts.

I have noticed that the sanitary conditions I have become accustomed to in the United States haven't been considered here just yet. I walked past a bread truck. The man was picking up rolls with his dirty hands, putting them in a box and carrying them into a store. Workers tend to use their hands when touching most foods. Makes me wonder what goes on in most restaurants... that's why I have been ordering beer with every meal -- kill those germs!

I walked past a church that was build in 1250AD. That's over 800 years ago, kids. It was incredible to see the stones out in front, with the old writing. They were mostly worn down, like old cemetery headstones. There was a large cross with a statue of Jesus being crucified. It was life-sized.

I walked around to the back of the church to see the building it was attached to. It looked like something from the time of Robin Hood (as seen in movies). Absolutely incredible. Everything was made of wood and stone. Behind the church was an older man playing the violin and singing a Ukrainian song. He smiled at me as I took his picture.

I walked throught a series of brick tunnels which lead to an underground shopping area, with little stores and kiosks all over. One of them sold pet food (I recognized the stong odor of dry catfood that I had grown up with). The brand Friskies is sold here as well! And they have about 15 varieties of food for cats and dogs, and you can order the amount you'd like.

I stumbled upon the Lviv History Museum. The women in the booth did not speak English, and she tried to explain to me that there were 5 floors, and I could go see each one. I figured it out. Going up the stairs in this 150 year old building was a little frightening, as each wooden step made a very loud creaking noise. Looking up the stairwell, I could see to the top, and it was very noticable that things were crooked and sagging from the years of gravity pulling at them...

The museum was interesting. Of course, I couldn't read any of the information, so I looked at the pictures and various items they had. The 5th floor was the most interesting, with more modern items like Soviet uniforms, photos of Stalin, swords, guns, etc. The curator asked me, "Sprekenzie Deutche?" I said, "Nein. American." He smiled.

After the museum, I walked a few blocks and found a great flower market, connected to an indoor produce/meat market. They had so many vendors selling fresh (I think) meat, eggs, vegetables, fruits, etc. They stacked the eggs in pyramids, and they were cartoned up as they were purchased. Outside, in the flower market, there were little old women sitting on chairs, pulling apart the flowers to be bundled in bouquets. I smiled to one, pointed to my camera and nodded, but she nodded, "No." Each one down the line did the same. Too bad, as they looked so..."authentic".

I made my way down the block and found a large square (possibly Rynok Square, I'm not sure). There was a large fountain with a statue of Neptune holding his trident. I recognized who it was right away, and I was able to read "Neptune" writtin in cyrillic under his feet. Most of the letters were the same. Around the corner, at the other corner of the square was another statue, of a woman. I believe she was Aphrodite, based on the English letters which read "Amphitrite".

After my long day of walking, I went back to the hotel, showered and changed. Then I went out and walked some more as the sun set. This time, I went in another direction, about a mile. Then I got lost! And then I found my way back. Phew!

Lviv, Ukraine: Observations

2009-08-07T03:17:00.002-04:00

After I arrived at the Hotel Opera (situated just across the street from the Royal Opera House), I checked in, then went out for a look around. I had been awake for over 24 hours but I was curious to see things before the sun went down. I walked several blocks, taking in the sites, the people, the culture. I realized I couldn't understand the language, the signs, anything. For all I knew, I was on another planet. It's amazing how lost I felt. I wasn't afraid, just not in my own element. I knew that some people spoke a little English, and that was assuring enough.

After my walk, I got some food -- a nice pizza. I ordered a bottle of water, only to find out it was seltzer. Blehhh. But I didn't complain. I ate and then headed back to the hotel for my nap. I had planned a 3-hour nap, setting my alarm to wake me up at 7pm local time, so I didn't sleep until midnight and stay up all night again. However, I slept until 10pm, so I went out and walked around again for about an hour.

There were people on the streets, but not as many as during the day. Many young couples were holding hands. Old friends walking around smoking. Oh yeah, everyone here (and I mean EVERYONE) smokes. It's disturbing. There are cigarette kiosks all over, with stacks of American cigarettes too.

One other observation, nobody smiles. Its like an entire city (or nation?) of depressed people. I wonder if the company that makes Prozac plan on doing any marketing here, as it would make more money than Marlboro. Maybe they could develop a cigarette that contains Prozac AND nicotene?

After my walk, I came back to the hotel, played around online a little (they have a computer room available to guests for $2.50 an hour. Bargain!) I spent about $5.00 last night answering emails and chatting with friends at home. I settled down by taking a shower and then watching BBC International (Europe's equivalent to CNN). That helped me get sleepy, not to mention the Ambien I popped just before turning on the TV. I woke up 8 hours later, refreshed and feeling good! I headed downstairs for my breakfast buffet. They had frankfurters, grilled chicken patties, waffles, frest fruit (with pommegranites!) and a variety of European teas.

After eating, I started my adventure. I walked about 2-3 miles all around the area, trying my best not to get lost, which I didn't. I took about 100 photos of the buildings, the people, the cars, etc.

Lviv is a post-industrial town, which looks very dirty and poor. Many of the buildings seem to have crumbling features and are in desperate need of repair. The streets are a little dirty (like New York), and the air has a diesel smell, from all of the cars & trucks. I got a kick out of the garbage truck that was going around the park picking up trashcans: it was a farm tractor pulling a flatbed truck with a garbage dumpster attached.

More soon!

Lviv, Ukraine: Arrival

2009-08-07T03:06:00.004-04:00

I arrived in Lviv, Ukraine yesterday morning. The initial flight from JFK to Warsaw was 8 hours, and then after a 2 hour layover in Warsaw Airport (boring...) I took a 40-seater plane to Lviv. The flight was only 35 minutes, but I don't remember much as I was going in and out of consciousness after not sleeping for 24 hours.

As we landed in Lviv, it began to rain. A bus drove up to the plane and we all got on. Then the bus drove us about 1000 feet to the airport building where customs was. There were about 5 customs officers wearing bright green hats, which resembled the hats doormen wear in fancy buildings in New York. I was at the end of the line, and waited about 45 minutes to get checked. It wasn't difficult, just slow.

Next, I walked through the customs area into the airport waiting room, which was about 15x15. There were anxious cab drivers all looking for fares, rather insistantly. I went to the ATM machine in the airport, and tried both my debit and credit cards, but they didn't work. I think that particular machine was empty. I asked someone who spoke English if they knew where the nearest bank was. He directed me down the block. I walked out of the airport, through five cabbies, each one asking me if I needed a cab. You'd think that would stop the next one after hearing me say, "Ni" to the one just behind me. But they were persistant.

I walked across the street towards the nearest ATM, and I noticed one of the cabbies following me. I kept an eye on him and sneered, but he still followed. That ATM didn't work either. Then the cabbie came over to me and said, "Cab? Cab?" I explained in my perfect English that I only have US currency. In his perfect Ukrainian, he said a few words, and then said, "I drive bank then hotel." I asked him the fare, knowing it should only cost $15-$20 US (based on my research online) and he said 100Hryvna. I thought that was a lot, not knowing off the top of my head how much it translates to in US dollars (now I know: $40). I told him, I will give you $20 US. Is that good? He understood and agreed.

I enjoyed looking at the scenery as we drove around in the rain. I noticed he didn't wear a seatbelt. I did. After 20 minutes, we arrived at the Hotel Opera. Luxurious place, compared to the rest of the surroundings on the block. I like it.

41... now serving #41... please step up to the counter...

2009-07-27T13:46:00.003-04:00

"Yesterday it was my birthday
I hung one more year on the line
I should be depressed
My life's a mess
But I'm having a good time."
-- Paul Simon

OK, technically speaking, my life is not a mess. I just like that song. My life is pretty good. I am now 41 years old. I'm in good health. I have many friends. I like my job. I give a lot back to my community. And I'm relatively happy. What else could I ask for? Maybe endless wealth, but I have some time to get that.

Yesterday was nice. I woke up at 11am. Went to Tendo Asian Bistro in Brooklyn Heights with Alex for lunch. He ordered the Pineapple Fried Rice, which was served in a beautiful presentation inside a half-pineapple. Sadly, the pineapple tasted rotten, so we sent it back he had some California Rolls instead. I helped after finishing my Chicken Teriyaki.

Next, we got in Alex's new car and drove to NJ to see my parents. The trip was easy. No traffic. Dad came out to the car and dropped a handful of change on the floor. I didn't know what that meant, but he told me it was for good luck. I picked it up and put it in the change box. I felt it would soon give me good luck. We hung out with Mom & Dad for a few hours, then Alex and I went to TJ Maxx with mom to return something, while Dad stayed home and watched the Yankees play. I didn't think he was interested in Baseball, but when I asked him he said, "There's nothing else to watch on TV..." Good point.

We went home again, picked up Dad and then he and Mom drove to a Japanese Buffet restaurant in East Brunswick. We followed in our car, so we could head back to Brooklyn right after dinner.

On the way home, there was a lot of traffic on the turnpike. Unfortunately, it took us 3 hours to get home! Normally, the tip is about an hour. And wouldn't you know it -- Dad's change came in handy (and lucky for us we had it) as I only had $7 left in my wallet when arriving at the toll plaza for the Lincoln Tunnel! We don't have EZ Pass (yet) so we dug out the change Dad dropped in the car, and along with my own change, we had just enough. Phew! That's lucky!

I went online when I got home and saw over 100 messages from friends through Facebook, all wishing me Happy Birthday. That made my night! 41 won't be so bad, right? I still have 59 years left. Plenty of time!

Walter Cronkite 1916-2009

2009-07-18T12:27:00.002-04:00

Once again, I find myself writing about the death of famous person. Walter Cronkite passed away yesterday in Manhattan at the age of 92. I met him once, about 13-14 years ago. I used to be invited to Warner Bros. movie screenings in the private (company) screening room. One night, I was there with my brother Gary, and I looked behind me and noticed Mr. Kronkite sitting there! I whispered to Gary, "Do you know whose sitting behind us?" He non-chalantly looked over his shoulder, and then whispered back, "No idea." Haha.

I turned around and introduced myself and told him that I had always admired his work. He was very friendly.

Gay Pride 2009

2009-06-29T00:29:00.002-04:00

I am wiped OUT. Today, I volunteered to help Heritage of Pride (HOP) as they put on the Heritage of Pride March (also known as the "Gay Pride Parade"). Technically, this isn't a parade, but people call it that, so it sticks. My organization, Out of Bounds NYC was in charge of Vehicle Check-In. This means that my volunteers had to act as gatekeepers at specific intersections in Midtown, and either allow or block vehicles from entering that block. All vehicles need to have a permit, and if they don't, they can't come in. I assembled a group of 21 volunteers, and they were broken into small groups of 3s. I have to really thank my friend Nicholas Forge for bringing in five additional volunteers by himself! THANKS NICKY-POOS!

Throughout the day, I heard some fun things that I just have to share with the world:

1) As I was walking to visit one of my groups of 3, I passed a drag queen on the sidewalk, dressed as Marie Antionette, and I must say, she looked stunning. Immediately after passing her by, I noticed a young father, in his late 30s with two young boys, maybe 8 and 10. They looked like they were from Connecticut, or somewhere else where people talk through their clinched teeth, and I heard the father say to his boys, "Trust me, that's a guy." The kids didn't believe him.

2) There was a fire truck that was part of the March, for the Kiehl's company. It was all done up in pretty rainbow flags, and Kiehl's signs all over it. The police refused to let it enter the March, and I asked one of the nearby officers why not. He told me that he ran the plates, and the truck had the WRONG plates on it, expired registration and no insurance. Then the Kiehl's representative standing next to him said, "We're getting all of the papers you need RIGHT NOW, and the truck is insured." I asked the cop, if they produce all of that, could the truck enter the March, and he replied, "If he gets the right plates, he could drive it to Egypt for all I care."

Overall, the March was great! So many people. I was told there were 30 more groups this year! Organizing this is so difficult. It was truly like herding cats. Everyone has a mind of their own, disobeys authority, and does whatever-the-hell-they-want. But it's not that bad. Very interesting show overall.

Bad Taste Award goes to the NBA Store at 666 5th: They had some staff members outside selling bottles of water for $2.25!! Talk about opportunism at its worst. I'm sure they don't sell water for $2.25 on other days.

After the March, I went home, showered and ate dinner. Then I dropped by Lindsey & Drea's for a short visit...

Then I went to the Pier Dance and saw lots of my friends. The best part of the night was meeting Cleve Jones! He was very friendly. We talked for a few minutes. I also saw Dustin Lance Black, but didn't get to talk with him.

HAPPY PRIDE! 40 Yeas Since Stonewall...

Michael Jackson 1958 - 2009

2009-06-25T22:11:00.002-04:00

Rest in Peace.

Farrah Fawcett 1947 - 2009

2009-06-25T21:50:00.003-04:00

When I was about 11 years old, I remember my best friend Jeff Fields had this poster in his bedroom. Even at that age, I didn't seem at all interested in getting one for my room. That was probably a sign of things to come, right? However, I do remember looking at a lot of pictures of Leif Garrett and Sean Cassidy in Dynamite Magazine.

Pee-rah-naaaaaaas

2009-06-24T23:08:00.003-04:00

Alex came home from the gym this morning, took off his shirt, admired his nicely worked out torso, and then said, "I like that I can take off my shirt in public now. At the bar, the boys come over to me like pee-rah-naaaaaaas."

Speaking Proper Spanish Grammar

2009-05-26T08:45:00.006-04:00

I was walking down a suburban street in Brooklyn on Saturday after spending some time at the local flea market with a friend. He said something in Spanish, and I thought I would show off with my minimal, yet dirty, Spanish abilities. I then announced, "Mi pinga es mucho grande."

And from behind the hedge we were walking by, a Latino gardener replied, "Muy grande. No mucho grande."

I stand corrected.

The Safety Net

2009-03-25T23:41:00.004-04:00

A friend of mine came out to his parents in January. I just heard about it the other day, and I chatted with him about it tonight.

I first found him in an online chat room about six years ago. I was "trolling" for gay hockey players for the league. He told me that he'd been playing hockey for about 20 years, and that he was closeted, but somewhat interested in learning more about the organization.

After about a month of chatting, I finally convinced him to meet me for a drink at a bar. He was very nervous, but we were all there once. We started hanging out once in a while, and eventually, I convinced him to come down to the rink and check out one of our games. Soon after, I got him out on the ice. It was at that moment, it was clear to me that he HAD to join the league. He was a great skater! So, he joined, and he's still playing. He has lots of friends. It's nice to see :)

Last October, I told him that it was National Coming Out Week, and suggested that he come out to his family. He said he wasn't ready yet. Completely understandable, as coming out is one of the most difficult experiences a gay person will ever go through. You worry that you will lose your family -- that they may reject you. In some cases, that happens, but in most cases, the parents learn something about their child that they didn't know: being gay is not a choice.

After explaining to his parents that his sexuality was something he had struggled with since he was in his 20s, they asked him, "Why did you choose to be gay then?" He cleared that up, and I am sure that really helped them to understand things a little better.

I asked if there was any crying, as when I came out, I was a blubbering idiot :) He said there was a little, but mostly on his part. And my last question was to see if he experienced the wonderful feeling of a "weight being lifted" from his shoulders. For me, it was the next day, at the Heritage of Pride March (a.k.a. Gay Pride Parade). I remember feeling like I was in a new body, as if I was a new person, free from the burden that I had carried around for so many years. It was wonderful -- so freeing. For my friend, he said that feeling came a few weeks later. But he did experience it. That's good. I told him it can be summed up in this adage: "The truth will set you free." He agreed.

Next time I see him, I'll give him an emotional hug. He thanked me and said he wouldn't have done this without me. I told him all I did was give him the first push, and that his friends got him the rest of the way. It helps having a network of friends who are your family, who you can fall back on when you're afraid of losing your real family. That's your safety net which allows you to walk the coming out tight rope and make it to the other side.

And the best thing is that now he has two families! And they both love him.

Gladys Solomon 1918 - 2009

2009-01-28T23:59:00.003-05:00

My Aunt Gittie passed away this morning at age 90. She was my grandmother's younger sister.

She was the most out-spoken, and I can easily say, the strongest of all of her siblings. She never backed down from a good fight. In some ways, I admired that. She was a unique member of our family.

I know it took so much out of her after my grandmother died two years ago. Although they weren't very close towards the end, as siblings tend to grow apart, there was a bond that they shared that was stronger than most -- the bond that ties families together, even when there is nothing left to say to one another after a lifetime of shared experiences.

I will miss the way she used to say my name, or at least the nickname she used for me, "Jeff'll". In my head, I can still hear her saying it.

She was the last of her generation -- the last living child of my great-grandparents, Ida & Harry Cohen, whose 100th Wedding Anniversary I just commemorated last month. She was born in 1918, in Brooklyn, during the final months of World War I. She came into this world with a fiery spark in her eye. She left it in a whisper.

Alexism: Pronunciation

2009-01-27T22:50:00.003-05:00

Alex and I ordered in Chinese Food tonight. He opened his fortune cookie and read his fortune to me. I'll write the words phonetically, as he said them:

"Nebber trow cow-shin to de wined."

The Juice Is Loose!

2009-01-23T20:53:00.001-05:00

The other day, I took out the new juicer and put a grapefruit in it. I turned it on, excited to have yummy grapefruit juice, not realizing I hadn't attached the "pulp catcher" to the other end. I got my juice, and in a matter of seconds, my dining room was covered in grapefruit pulp. I suppose the silver lining of this story is that the Jack LaLanne Juicer is so effective, the pulp was basically DRY and it didn't make too much of a mess :)

President Barack Hussein Obama

2009-01-20T23:55:00.005-05:00

I watched the Inauguration today, along with the billions of people around the world who tuned in, as well as the ones who wanted to be in Washington as it happened. As I watched, I thought I was watching a Royal Wedding of some sort. It just seemed like the VIPs were walking out in pairs, and being announced. Very prestigious.

I was a little emotional watching the pride on so many faces, as the cameras showed the people in the audience. And to see so many say how they never thought this day would come, or that they'd never live to see it. It makes you realize that no dream is impossible, but its only a matter of time and perseverance before it can become a reality. I am hoping that this new administration brings equality for everyone, including "my people" (the gays & lesbians of America). That's yet to be seen, but I'm a patient man.

After the Inauguration, I decided to go outside and take a walk, as I'd been cooped up in the apartment for 2 days with a cold. I walked to the promenade on Brooklyn Heights. I took some pictures of an American flag, and then some pictures of the Statue of Liberty, as if today was an important day to take those pictures. I suppose they will look like pictures from any other day, but today it felt right to take them.

I am very proud to be an American today. This is a feeling I haven't felt in a long time. I feel like this country has just started to turn around, and we will become friends with the world again, rather than be the bully on the block. I told my Dad that Obama is the Kennedy of my generation. I'm looking forward to eight years of rebuilding relationships, trust and self-esteem, and watching as the United States becomes "united" once again.

Obama's Open Letter to His Daughters

2009-01-16T15:55:00.001-05:00

(So beautiful, I wanted to pass this along -- Jeff)

President-elect Barack Obama shares a letter that he wrote to his daughters.

Dear Malia and Sasha,

I know that you've both had a lot of fun these last two years on the campaign trail, going to picnics and parades and state fairs, eating all sorts of junk food your mother and I probably shouldn't have let you have. But I also know that it hasn't always been easy for you and Mom, and that as excited as you both are about that new puppy, it doesn't make up for all the time we've been apart. I know how much I've missed these past two years, and today I want to tell you a little more about why I decided to take our family on this journey.
When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me -- about how I'd make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then the two of you came into my world with all your curiosity and mischief and those smiles that never fail to fill my heart and light up my day. And suddenly, all my big plans for myself didn't seem so important anymore. I soon found that the greatest joy in my life was the joy I saw in yours. And I realized that my own life wouldn't count for much unless I was able to ensure that you had every opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in yours. In the end, girls, that's why I ran for president: because of what I want for you and for every child in this nation.

I want all our children to go to schools worthy of their potential -- schools that challenge them, inspire them, and instill in them a sense of wonder about the world around them. I want them to have the chance to go to college -- even if their parents aren't rich. And I want them to get good jobs: jobs that pay well and give them benefits like health care, jobs that let them spend time with their own kids and retire with dignity.

I want us to push the boundaries of discovery so that you'll live to see new technologies and inventions that improve our lives and make our planet cleaner and safer. And I want us to push our own human boundaries to reach beyond the divides of race and region, gender and religion that keep us from seeing the best in each other.

Sometimes we have to send our young men and women into war and other dangerous situations to protect our country -- but when we do, I want to make sure that it is only for a very good reason, that we try our best to settle our differences with others peacefully, and that we do everything possible to keep our servicemen and women safe. And I want every child to understand that the blessings these brave Americans fight for are not free -- that with the great privilege of being a citizen of this nation comes great responsibility.

That was the lesson your grandmother tried to teach me when I was your age, reading me the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence and telling me about the men and women who marched for equality because they believed those words put to paper two centuries ago should mean something.

She helped me understand that America is great not because it is perfect but because it can always be made better -- and that the unfinished work of perfecting our union falls to each of us. It's a charge we pass on to our children, coming closer with each new generation to what we know America should be.

I hope both of you will take up that work, righting the wrongs that you see and working to give others the chances you've had. Not just because you have an obligation to give something back to this country that has given our family so much -- although you do have that obligation. But because you have an obligation to yourself. Because it is only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential.

These are the things I want for you -- to grow up in a world with no limits on your dreams and no achievements beyond your reach, and to grow into compassionate, committed women who will help build that world. And I want every child to have the same chances to learn and dream and grow and thrive that you girls have. That's why I've taken our family on this great adventure.

I am so proud of both of you. I love you more than you can ever know. And I am grateful every day for your patience, poise, grace and humor as we prepare to start our new life together in the White House.

Love, Dad

My Cousin Justin on WSJ Online!

2009-01-15T23:19:00.000-05:00

Look at these FACES!!!

2009-01-12T00:12:00.002-05:00

IMG_0073.jpg
Originally uploaded by jeffkagan

The Fab Four (my nephew and three nieces!)

Juice It!

2009-01-11T19:17:00.002-05:00

I got a Jack LaLanne Power Juicer for Hanukkah a few weeks ago. Today, I decided to give it a spin. Delicious. So, now I'm juice crazy. I was at Whole Foods earlier, and I bought $20 worth of fruit (apples, oranges, mangoes, etc.). It just occurred to me that I could probably buy bottled juice three times a week, and it would cost less than the price of the juicer and all of the fruits and vegetables I buy.

Not to mention the time it takes to clean the device. Be careful what you wish for. ;)

Pure Energy

2009-01-06T09:50:00.003-05:00

This morning, I ran into a woman who works in the Information Technology Department here at HBO. I've known her for many years. She's worked with me and my department in the past when her department had created some software for us. I was usually one of the "testers" and first-users of the software for my department, and I'd give her feedback on what was good vs. bad for my needs.

She told me how she will always remember that I had so much energy and speed, and that I typed faster than the computer could go. I said, "I know, I'm just like my mother. Too much energy."

She said, "Not too much, just a little more than you need."

Artistic View

2009-01-03T18:48:00.001-05:00

I took this on the Williamsburgh Bridge on January 2, 2009.

100 Years: 1909 - 2009 Ida & Harry Cohen

2009-01-02T22:58:00.000-05:00

Family Tree Milestone: Today was the 100th Anniversary of the Wedding of Harry & Ida Cohen, my great-grandparents.

Harry Gorochod Cohen & Ida Sorokshabel Ladinsky were married in Brooklyn, New York on January 2, 1909, according to Certificate #350 in the Brooklyn Marriage Records of that year.

I was told by my grandmother that as part of their ceremony, they walked over the Williamsburgh Bridge. I always thought that was such a romantic touch for their wedding, until today, when I decided to commemorate the 100th Anniversary by walking over the Williamsburgh Bridge again. Weather conditions this afternoon were 37 degrees and lightly snowing. Brrrr.

Happy 100th Anniversary to Bubie & Harry!

Love,
Jeff

Alexism: Which Movie?

2008-12-26T11:20:00.002-05:00

I came in the living room and turned on the television. Alex said he was watching a movie earlier, and he wanted to finish it.

"It was the one about the guy who dress like a grandma and he's getting a divorce and he make a face. Dat one."

Mrs. Doubtfire.

All-New Alexisms

2008-12-20T12:51:00.002-05:00

This morning, Alex and I decided to go to the International House of Pancakes in Brooklyn. On the way over, he started singing the Sponge Bob song, however, his version seems to be "Sponge Bob, Square FEET".

And then at the restaurant, the waitress asked him if he wanted home fries or French fries.

He said, "OK."

Happy 70th Birthday Uncle Harv!

2008-12-07T23:01:00.002-05:00

12/6/2008
Dear Uncle Harvey,

Happy 70th Birthday to someone I've admired all my life. For me, you have defined the role of "Uncle" with your smile, your humor and your love. All of that now gets handed down to my nieces and my nephew. We're all very lucky to have such a wonderful Uncle.

Love,
Jeff

Milk

2008-11-29T01:29:00.002-05:00

I saw the film MILK tonight with Lindsey & Drea and their friend Bob. This movie was a biopic of Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to be elected to public office. Sean Penn played the lead role, and I feel his performance will earn him an Oscar nomination. Very convincing, and at times, I felt as if I was seeing the real character, rather than the actor portraying him.

As I was discussing with Lindsey & Drea after the movie, the sad fact about this story, apart from the assassination, is that I really had no idea of who Harvey Milk was, other than "he was a gay politician who was killed." It made me realize that his story seems to have gotten overlooked by newer generations in the gay community. Why wasn't everything he did and everything he stood for drilled into my head by friends when I first came out? Why don't people like me, who are VERY active in the gay community, know much about this man until his story reaches the world of pop-culture?

Sure, I suppose you can say I live under a rock, but I doubt that's the case. I think that a large part of the gay community focuses so much on sex, partying, clothes or culture, and they overlook so much of the history that paved the way for them to have those freedoms. Those other things are important, but we wouldn't have any of them without people like Harvey Milk, who helped bring us out of the closet and into the public forum.

See this film. Research Harvey Milk online. Learn about him. Learn about yourself.

Thoughts on Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T15:20:00.002-05:00

I hear so many people calling Thanksgiving "Turkey Day". I have to wonder, is that moniker a good one? Ask a turkey. He may not agree. In fact, he may think the other 364 days of the year are more apt to be called "Turkey Day" than this one.

Ask the IRS to revoke the Mormon's Church's Tax-Exempt Status!

2008-11-13T23:59:00.005-05:00

Hey Readers,
Unless you live under a rock, you know that on Election Day, California voters voted in favor of a statewide ballot proposition known as Proposition 8.

Proposition 8 adds a new amendment to the California Constitution which says, "only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California". The ballot title of Proposition 8 was Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry.

Amongst the larger groups that pushed for this proposition was the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, also known as the Mormon Church. Mormon church leaders made an appeal to members of the church by letter, asking them to support it with their time and money.

As the founder of several 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organizations, like the Mormon church, I am well aware of the laws which dictate the limitations of what a 501(c) organization is allowed to do. One of the big ones states that an organization may not be involved in a political campaign or engage in excessive lobbying activities. By telling their members to go out and vote in favor of Proposition 8, they broke the law, and should be penalized. The IRS should revoke their tax-exempt status for this.

Please go to this link and print out the PDF, then fill out your information and mail it in! Show your support for the gay community, and stand up against the hate being promoted by the Mormon Church and others.

http://kaganville.com/complaint.pdf

Mail in the form in the link above and ask the IRS to revoke the Mormon Church's tax-exempt status.

Self-esteem

2008-11-11T23:50:00.000-05:00

"Self-esteem" is when you iron your own shirts in a laundromat in Jackson Heights.

Proud

2008-11-04T23:59:00.002-05:00

This is one of the most proud moments in my life. Barack Obama won the election. I had tears rolling down my face. I am so happy. I have hope that the world will change for the better.

Daylight & Work Saving Time

2008-11-04T17:54:00.003-05:00

Daylight Saving Time ended this past weekend, as we turned back the clocks one hour and resumed "Standard Time" for the cold winter. Yesterday, I worked from home, so I didn't go into the office. This morning, I got in late (after voting), dropped my coat and bag in the office and ran upstairs to an all-day seminar. Throughout the day, work piled up on my desk and in my inbox, and I tried to bang some of it out during lunch (while scarfing down some food, at the same time I was on a conference call with the VP of International).

The seminar ended at 4pm and I rushed back to my desk to get the rest of this work done, thinking I needed to get back home by 7pm to set up the Election Party at my co-op. I kept checking the clock, thinking, "Damn, time is flying by!" I got everything done, just as the clock above my desk said "6pm", and like Fred Flintstone, I slid down the brontosaurus neck and punched my time card, saying everything but "Yabba Dabba Doo!" I was out of that office faster than a speeding bullet.

I got on the subway, and turned on my iPhone for some music. I noticed the time was off. It said 5:10pm. I thought I should reset the phone, so I turned it off. As the little apple icon appeared, it struck me... like the realization Isaac Newton had whilest sitting under the apple tree. No, not gravity... stupidity!

I never set the clocks in my office back, and I left work at 5pm instead of 6pm... oh well. Now I can relax a little bit.

Barack Obama for President

2008-11-04T17:36:00.003-05:00

This morning at 9:25am, after waiting 90 minutes on a long and winding line, I cast my vote for Barack Obama for President of the United States of America.

This was one of the most proud moments for me, and today I feel very optimistic for the future of this country and the world.

I can't wait to see how this election goes!! Good luck, Barack!!!

Marathon Memories

2008-11-02T10:33:00.002-05:00

The New York City Marathon is happening as I type. I have a few friends who are running in it: Mike Kokell and Michael Nolan. I think they're crazy to run 26 miles. I told them I don't even like to drive 26 miles...

I always think of the Verrazanno Bridge when I hear about the marathon, and that reminds me of the old days (the 70s). Every other weekend, Mom & Dad would take us all to Brooklyn to visit my grandmother. And every year, like clockwork, my Dad would forget that the Marathon was on, and as we got close to the bridge, we'd hit miles of traffic (the marathon closed one level of the bridge causing lots of back-ups).

At this realization, Dad would grit his teeth and then go through the long list of swear words and colorful metaphors that he'd been collected for years. I think I learned most of the swear words I know from those trips.

I used to love our trips to Brooklyn. The Verrazanno Bridge was always so exciting. It was fun being up over the water (so high!). Mom & Dad would point out the Statue of Liberty in the distance. We'd play license plate games (look for the different states). Going into Brooklyn, we'd almost always take the upper level (except on...err...Marathon Day), but coming home we'd almost always take the lower level. I don't know why. Maybe it was easier? I think my brother, sister and I would always fall asleep in the back of the car, with the radio playing quietly. When we'd get a few blocks away from our house in Old Bridge, my dad would turn the radio off. I'd wake up in a groggy state as we drove around the curve of Darwin Road, onto Arvin Road, and down the block to our house.

Swish!

2008-10-29T19:55:00.001-04:00

Tonight, I was elected as the new Commissioner of the New York City Gay Basketball League. Wheeee!

Check us out at www.nycgaybasketball.org

Don't Hate: Educate

2008-10-20T22:45:00.003-04:00

Last week, I received an email from an athlete who just moved to New York seeking a spot on my hockey team. He heard about the NYC Gay Hockey Association through the Director of Hockey at Sky Rink. He was told that there weren't any spots on any Sky Rink teams, but I might have room on mine. The email was very friendly, and he explained his situation (just moving to town, wanting to skate) and then he wrote: "I'm not gay but I'm beyond tolerant with some of my closest friends being gay/lesbians."

At first, I shrugged it off. He was "tolerant". Tolerant? The definition of the word is: accepting of the beliefs, actions, etc., of other people. I thought about it. Was my sexuality something that should be tolerated? It started to bug me. I couldn't respond to him about hockey, and NOT say something about his use of the word tolerant.

I carefully worded my email, with tact. Will Rogers once said, "Tact is the ability to make a point without making an enemy." Smart man. I wrote: I wanted to comment on your use of the word "tolerant". Many people use that word when trying to describe their acceptance of gay people. To me, "tolerant" implies having no choice but to accept a negative issue. One's sexuality is set genetically, and shouldn't be a positive or negative trait to be tolerated or not. It should be accepted or not-accepted. I'm sure you meant that you are "accepting" of your gay friends. Language is always an interesting subject to me, and you can see the difference one word makes.

I'm happy to say, he responded (rather than ran away) and was very apologetic. He then added: "You know, some of my gay and lesbians friends are people that I've known since high school and college so I've never had to explain to anyone whether I'm acceptant of someone's choices, it went without saying."

My foot started to tap. How to respond NOW?

I once again took to writing a tactful email, and I responded: "I feel I need to jump in again and explain that one's sexuality isn't a choice. Please don't feel bad about this -- one day we'll laugh about it over drinks after a game. =)"

Happily, he wrote back again, thanking me for the way I closed the email, so he didn't feel totally embarrassed. See how much a little emoticon can help diffuse an awkward situation? I'm glad the exchange of emails went the way they did. I think he will be a little more choosy with his words, and that may help make whomever he is speaking with a little happier.

The moral of this story: Don't be afraid to correct someone when they are making a "social faux-pas". If you don't do it, how will they learn that what they're doing is offending you? Speak up! :)

Shirts & Skins: The Rockdogs Rock!

2008-10-20T22:41:00.002-04:00

Today, I want to start by plugging a documentary series that's currently airing on LOGO. It's called Shirts & Skins, and if you haven't noticed, it is featured on the cover of the new issue of Sports Out Loud. This series follows the Rockdogs, a gay basketball team based out of San Francisco, as they are brought together again to uphold their "three-generation legacy of International Gay Games gold medal and national tournament wins." I've been following it and really enjoying it a lot. What I like best is that I actually know a few of the Rockdogs, as they are also members of the NYC Gay Basketball League. Over the past year or so, I've become friendly with Rory and DeMarco as they've participated in the league here in New York City. Recently, Jamel joined the league too. The three of them continue to impress the rest of us. If you're in New York, you should come see them play along with the rest of the stars of our league. There is plenty of info about the league at www.nycgaybasketball.org.

The important aspect of a program like Shirts & Skins is its impact on the community. This show documents the breaking of stereotypes. The athletes of Shirts & Skins are role models -- much needed role models in our community. Where were these role models when I was a kid? Nowhere. That's why it took me until I was 25 to learn how to ice skate, and a few more years to not let my sexuality stand in my way (Thanks, Ellen!)

I applaud the Rockdogs, as well as every other LGBT athlete who gets out onto that court, field, pool, pitch or rink and pushes themselves to be the best they can be. They are the role models that will shape the next generation's views and opinions, and they will set the pace for future gay athletes.

Three Crowns on One Queen

2008-10-18T02:46:00.003-04:00

On October 29th, I will be running for the title of Commissioner of the New York City Gay Basketball League. I had been planning to retire, but something tells I can do so much more before I leave. If I am elected, I will also continue in my role as Director of the New York City Gay Hockey Association, and Treasurer of Out of Bounds NYC.

Free time comes along once in a while and gives me great opportunity to continue my support of the LGBT Community.

Television Depressor

2008-10-18T02:39:00.003-04:00

In a staff meeting today, the boss said we shouldn't worry too much about this economy affecting HBO, as we are a luxury that makes people happy, so they don't give it up so quickly.

One of my co-workers said, "I read that during the depression in the 30s, the television was always the last item in the house to go."

The anachronistic problem with that statement is that television was not a household item until the late 1940s, a decade after the Great Depression. I think she meant the radio...

I wonder if God takes off for spelling?

2008-10-11T18:34:00.001-04:00

And you at YOUR age...

2008-10-09T23:35:00.003-04:00

I have been having some issues with my knees for some time now. More recently, I've been having lots of pain when I cross my legs while sitting down, or even putting on sneakers. So, I went to see an orthopedic specialist and he recommended an MRI. Well, I got the results today and I'm a little disturbed by what he told me: arthritis!

I'm only 40. Should this be happening to me? I wonder if I can start collecting Social Security now?

Happy Birthday, John (2008)

2008-10-09T23:16:00.005-04:00

Today would have been John Lennon's 68th Birthday. I had a doctor's appointment on the upper east side, and on my way home, I took the bus across Central Park. I figured I'd check out what was going on at Strawberry Fields, as there's always a nice gathering there for John's birthday (October 9), or the day he was murdered (December 8).

On my way through the crowd, there were about six guys with guitars, sitting and standing around the "Imagine" circle playing "Give Peace A Chance". I worked my way past all of the people who were singing along, and I took a picture from the other side. The next song was "Run For Your Life". I walked back through and then got on the subway, just under the Dakota. Headed back to Brooklyn, all the way listening to John Lennon music on my iPhone.

And in the end... the love you make is equal to the love you take...

2008-10-09T23:07:00.004-04:00

I haven't told everyone, but Alex and I broke up at the end of August. Sorry if you're only learning this now, and through my blog. It's one of those situations where you know a million people, and you just don't feel like going over the story a million times. But for the record, I'll just say this: Alex and I were together for three wonderful years. I would almost venture to say they were three of the best years of my life. You could read past blog entries and see how madly in love I was. The last year had us drifting apart a little bit, and by August, things just seemed like they weren't progressing forward. The break-up was for the best.

I love Alex. I will always love him. And I am confident in saying he feels the same way about me. We'll be life-long friends and that's one of the most important things to me -- that he is still a part of my life.